Tag Archives: Victoria Clark

Nancy Drew and the Secret of SingleGuyFromSyosset

nancy drew

Have you heard? Victoria Clark got married. You know, Victoria Clark? The actress who won a Tony for Light In The Piazza? She played a middle-aged woman, on her first trip to Italy, away from her critical and controlling husband, who discovers what real love is courtesy of a beautiful older Italian man with a uniquely understanding wife. She comes alive and sees the world with new eyes. In real life Ms. Clark discovered true love…(cue screeching-break sound) on eHarmony. That’s right, according to the New York Times, Ms. Victoria Clark, the beautiful, charming, immensely talented and outrageously accomplished Victoria Clark went on-line to find a date. Ya know what? If it’s good enough for her, it’s good enough for me.

Do I believe that with a few strategic clicks you can find the person who makes you say; “I had no idea this even existed?” Can you your way to turning the world Technicolor and finally understanding what all those songs and movies are really about? Sorry, no, I don’t believe that. My motivation is much more Cabaret based (“what good is sitting alone in your room”) and most definitely not about finding love, which I believe is elusive and magical and not the result of clicking on the right profile. Quite frankly a significant part of the appeal of internet dating, or perhaps any dating, is the Nancy Drew opportunities it presents. I graduated from a research university. That, partnered with my master criminal mind makes me more skilled than the average bear at unearthing the most horrific things about people.

Unlike meeting people in real life, you can Google as an online person reveals factoids about himself. (It’s doable but terribly recherché when meeting someone in real life, and involves several suspicious trips to the Ladies’ Room.) Recently I received very thoughtful and presumably forthcoming communications. He shared life experiences and viewpoints while perhaps fictitious were far more thought-out than the usual “you look hot, what’s your workout regime?” In the process of setting up an in person date he sent me his phone number. I was going to text when I realized I had enough clues to do some research without data gathered from additional communiqué. Two clicks later I discovered multiple sites in which this gentleman had ranted and raged using the most vulgar, racist and anti-homosexual language. That’s “multiple sites” with a photo of him as an avatar. He wasn’t even trying to hide his crazy. To his credit? My first instinct was to run out and buy a deadbolt for my door. It wasn’t the vulgarity mind you; I can curse the ink off a sailor, but his complete lack of judgment and anger management. This is the same man who when asked straight out about temper replied that life was too short to ever lose one’s temper. Yikes! So he’s either a liar or a sociopath or some special blend of a little of both. Deadbolt. Of course being a woman I actually briefly thought; “how will I let him down easily?” Yeah, I got over that notion pretty damn quickly. As fast as a hatchet coming through my front door! I managed to shake/drink that one off and head for the next profile (it’s best to not think of them as “men” or “dates” at this point of the process. It could be a well-trained homicidal monkey doing the typing.)

Typically people using internet dating sites know that when creating a profile you should put your best foot forward. This strategy includes using the most flattering photo you can find. The “more of me to love” fellows tend to use headshots only. For the follicley challenged there are a lot of baseball cap and helmet photos. It’s best to look beyond the professionally wrapped package and peek under the paper. Sometimes there are splendid clues to be found in the written portion. You gotta give props to a guy who on the first page of his profile spells out his psychic affliction; “my father left when I was 9 which devastated my mother. I learned that I couldn’t count on anyone but myself and should keep everyone at arms’ length” Call Me! How about the gentleman when asked to list 3 things he simply couldn’t live without, spells out a graphic event that can only be PG-13 described as “when a mommy and daddy love each other very much…” Really? I bet that reels the ladies in, huh fella? A list of “hates” which described me to a T captured my imagination. Discovering the following list: “TV Addict”, “Vain”, “Judgmental” made me momentarily wonder if he could actually see me through the computer. I mean that could be the lead of my obituary! I was so very tempted to rope him into a date just to announce mid-dinner, “Surprise! It’s me; your worst nightmare!!”

Dating is fun, particularly for a girl detective.


Posted by on August 22, 2015 in Dating


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Ask Me How Do I Feel

Sitting in Avery Fisher Hall, with the N.Y. Philharmonic upon the stage, celebrating Anywhere I Wander: The Frank Loesser Songbook, I felt like a  ringing bell, popping spring and swinging gate all at once.  From the very first note of the “Frank Overture” the packed house knew they were in for an amazing night.  The evening’s program was introduced by Robert Morse, his ovation demonstrating how much audiences believe in him.

The first number; Bushel and a Peck was performed by a male trio (John Bolton, Bernard Dotson, Michael Seelbach) in three part harmony.  I was left wondering why it is not always performed in that manner!  The trio were choreographed (Andrew Palermo) down to the half-note, their standing microphones used as dance partners.  The numbers following were predominately from the stage (The Most Happy Fella, Where’s Charley, etc.) but there were film and pop songs performed as well.  Marc Kudisch’s rendition of Hans Christian Anderson was moving and amusing.

Of particular personal joy was the performing of several numbers from Guys & Dolls.  I had never previously had the privilege of seeing a perfect professional rendition of these songs.  Victoria Clark was positively luminescent in her rendition of If I Were A Bell.  It was somewhat poetic to have Mary Testa performing Adelaide’s Lament, as she and I had both endured the (2009) Guys & Dolls revival.  Ms. Testa, with all her sneezing and wheezing and her sinus that’s really a pip, made the song all her own and it was fabulous!  If there was any disappointment to the evening it was the quality of Robert Morse’s microphone.  What felt like a once in a lifetime experience; seeing Mr. Morse perform I Believe In You, was marred by static and feedback.  I was left wondering how the N.Y. Philharmonic does not have a stage manager adept at killing the body mic and running on stage with a hand-held.

Fortunately that is not what lingers.  What I will always recall is the incredible orchestra, joyfully conducted by Ted Sperling and over 2,700 people singing along to Once In Love With Amy.

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Posted by on March 27, 2012 in Uncategorized


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