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Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

07 Dec

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I’ve been thinking about Santa lately. That’s not really all that unusual given the time of year and all. But as I have not accepted Santa as my personal gift-giver, thinking of him at all is moderately novel. I’ve always had deep affection for him in all his fictional forms. Edmund Gwenn (as Kris Kringle in Miracle on 34th Street), Mickey Rooney’s voice (in two classic animated tales) even the Norelco (shaver) cartoon Santa have swept me off my feet. But the real Santa? I hadn’t given him much thought.

This all started with the (not nearly as distressing as it might first seem) thought of sitting on his lap as an adult. I wondered what would I, as a grown woman capable of filling my own stocking, ask from the bearded stranger. This led me to thinking of his raison d’etre. Santa, it would seem, exists as a repository of dreams. Children visit the jolly fellow and (if they’re not crying uncontrollably or rendered speechless by his Oz-like presence) tell him what the really want. This dynamic works well as children will rarely filter with Santa. They will not tell Santa what they think he wants to hear, but instead what they in fact want. Many is the Santa (post 1970) who has heard “I want my mommy & daddy to get undivorced.” Children know what they want and rarely have shame in asking for it.

How does this scenario play out for an adult who has been (somewhat) socialized and mostly expresses herself with a (somewhat flawed) filter? What it seems to entail is doing a little hard work and digging deep to uncover what one really wants. Santa (to my understanding) cannot cure disease or enforce cease fires. Santa seems to deal on an individual basis, addressing only the personal. So then what, if given the chance, would I ask Santa to bring on Christmas morning? An idea sprang to mind, and then one more, and before you know it I had a score. They all seemed to be of a similar ilk and to the untrained eye would appear to be New Year”s resolutions.

And that’s when it dawned on me for the first time ever; New Year is Christmas for grown-ups! The eve of the New Year is spent in sparkly clothes sipping sparkling wine, waiting for something to happen. Instead of listening for hoof sounds on the roof, or jingling of sleigh bells, our ears are primed for noisemakers and countdowns. When the moment arrives we whoop and holler and when it’s all over there’s a big mess to clean. And the next day is when we receive the gift of fresh starts and begin to play with the resolutions we’ve made.

There is still plenty of time to write your letter to Santa. When you’re standing in line (at the bank, the post office, the store, the wrapping desk) let your mind wander. Ask yourself; ‘what do I want?’ Let your imagination run wild. There is no wrong answer. “I want to be more patient with my teenager” is just as valid (and perhaps as daunting) as “I want to become a doctor.” Discovering what you really truly want is not complicated but it isn’t easy either. You might just need to jump start the process with a little visit to Santa. Sure you might feel a little self-conscious, but trust me, Santa’s seen it all. You needn’t sit on his lap, maybe just a “hello” and a hearty handshake will do the trick. The thing is, once you’ve stage whispered, “I’m working on my list” to Santa, you’re going to finish the list. Santa never loses his power to motivate. This is a man who knows when you’ve been bad or good.

 
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Posted by on December 7, 2012 in Holiday, Well-Being

 

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The Anarchist – Review

06 Dec

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The Anarchist is a brief (in length and run) new play by David Mamet. It features two characters on stage for an uninterrupted 70 minutes. Cathy (played by Patti LuPone) is a convict serving her 35th year and Ann (played by Debra Winger) is a wardenesque woman serving her last day at the penitentiary. They are together performing the dance of “I’d like to be released now please.” And the dance is not well choreographed.

Cathy proclaims her interest in Christianity as an indication of her worthiness of release. This device is a bit blurry. She was born and raised by Jews (who it would appear gave her the name Catherine) and has discovered the New Testament in prison. Does she speak with the fervor of a tent preacher to impress the cross wearing Ann? If not, why work so much of the theology into the dialogue?  A sense of urgency is implied with the device of Ann’s last day, but why? Ann is not particularly lenient or empathetic. Maybe Cathy’s chances for being sprung will improve with a new administrator. If there is dramatic tension it’s buried too deeply to detect.

Mamet’s dialogue seems to have undergone a conversion as well. A Sunday school teacher would be pleased. However the rhythm is still quintessential Mamet. Ms. Lupone is comfortably at home in this musicality. She is at complete ease and utterly graceful with the dialogue. Ms. Winger is much less so and is not served well by Mr. Mamet’s direction. He has created a wooden and opaque portrayal in her Ann.

There are certainly interesting ideas conveyed throughout the play. Cathy’s (Weather Underground) crimes promise to evoke mixed feelings in audiences of a certain age. The psycho/social scholar will be intrigued with the debate over rehabilitation. There is also much to gain from watching Ms. LuPone stripped of song and embracing her dramatic roots. But watching The Anarchist is more akin to watching a (good) poetry reading than a play. Inserting dramatic tension into the script, recasting the role of Ann, and not having the playwright as director might result in a nice little play.

 
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Posted by on December 6, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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Coming To The Rescue

05 Dec

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Second guessing the behavior of others without benefit of any insight or personal experience is a national (and perhaps international) pastime. There is even a sport metaphor for such behavior, something to do with an armchair and quarterbacks. Part of our fascination with celebrity is the sheer enjoyment we derive from critiquing their decisions (which we learn from finely tuned propaganda.) We quickly come to conclusions about what we would do in the same situation. We make these declarations with limited data and zero experience. After all, no one has ever been in anyone else’s situation. Not really. We all bring our own baggage and outlook into each experience. Yet why let that fact get in the way of good water cooler chat!

The other day a man was killed in the subway. This happens from time to time. It is always horrific and always sends a temporary chill down the spine of commuters. This latest tragedy doesn’t appear to be completely random which is perversely comforting. The victim is no less dead and his friends and family no less shattered because it was not random. Witnesses report that the suspect was talking loudly to himself. There is video footage of the victim in close proximity to and facing the suspect as the suspect screamed directives. The footage could be deceiving and could mean other things, but it certainly looks as if the two had engaged in some back and forth. They had connected in some manner and it ended very tragically.

Attention is now being paid to the fact that there were many people on that subway platform who did not engage. After the victim was pushed onto the track he tried to get back up to the platform. No one helped. This was not entirely a flashback to the murder of Kitty Genovese (when 38 people admitted to hearing her cries for help and chose to not come to her aid) as at least one person did more than stand by. A professional photographer used his camera’s flash to alert the oncoming train (49 times.) He is now being criticized for capturing the image of the victim rather than pulling the man to safety. (The conductor did see the flash and did slow down.) The photographer, with his own life experience and orientation, did what he thought best. It is not clear how close he was to the victim. It’s easier to question his behavior because we have tangible proof of what he did. But what of everyone else on that platform who did nothing but scream? Could everyone had been far enough away from the victim that they assumed someone else would come to the rescue? Perhaps, subway platforms are long. Was the assailant still very close to the victim and people feared for their own safety? That could be the case. We may never know exactly why the victim was not saved.

What we can be certain of is that violent behavior is scary. We are biologically wired to be frightened by frightening things. But we’ve been socialized to rise above that fear to help those in need. If we choose to second-guess those individuals on the subway platform let’s also internalize that criticism. Let’s use the horrific event to remind ourselves that keeping our head down and ignoring the plight of others is only a short-term survival strategy. Sure we might get through life completely unscathed but what kind of life would it have been and what kind of world would we have?

 
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Posted by on December 5, 2012 in Cultural Critique, Well-Being

 

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Keeping Our Gift Giving Heads

03 Dec

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You’d have to be living under a rock (or someplace wonderful that I’d love to hear about) to not sense the holiday retail desperation/frenzy. The sales and offers are coming in multiple chaotic waves. Online prices are jumping up and down like an untrained puppy. This curated and cultivated frenzy is designed to be contagious. There is nothing as frightening to retail as a cool, calm and collected shopper. List makers with moderate blood pressure and blood sugar are kryptonite to retail. So bring on the confusing and conflicting offers and the wonky gift items. (Is there really anyone with candy cane scented body lotion on his or her wish list?) It’s the time to convince shoppers that strangers know best. “Gift” items are positioned strategically in and around key areas of shops. Reindeer corkscrew? Who wouldn’t just love to have that in their junk drawer? Sugar plum flavored lip gloss? Okay, but does anyone even know what a sugar plum is? Personally, I’d prefer partridge in a pear tree scent.

The items being pushed as ‘perfect’ for every and anyone on your list aren’t merely Christmas themed. The latest (excruciatingly distasteful) fashion trend seems to be apparel usually seen on people very down on their luck. A torn sweatshirt with a ragged and fringed hem is being sold for $185. This is a garment you would not allow your partner or child to be seen in. You would wrestle it from their hands and relegate it to the rag bin. The full page newspaper advert showed this pathetic piece of cloth draped over the sharp and glossy frame of a highly styled young woman otherwise dressed for a night out. Ordinarily this would just be stupid and ridiculous, but five weeks after a devastating natural disaster which has left many people choosing their clothes from mounds of discards, it is just distatesful. Distasteful, but not unique. Today’s full page newspaper advert shows a similarly glam model wearing a pair of shredded jeans. The jeans are not decorated with strategically placed signs of distressed. No, the holes are stringy and show pronounced areas of skin. These can make that special person on your gift list happy for just $205.

Not sure if $200 rags are the perfect gift? Fear not, you can now pay someone to tell you what your friends and family would like. These clairvoyant personal shoppers will advise you as to what will make someone who means enough to you to warrant a gift, happy. Nifty, no? Keep in mind, they don’t purchase the gift or even wrap the gift. No no. They ask you the recipient’s age and gender and tell you what to buy. It’s like paying Santa to sit on your lap.

No matter how good our intentions not every gift will be perfect or even happily given. It’s inevitable that we will be socially forced into a grab bag situation or find ourselves spending the holiday with someone’s new partner. The important thing is not to panic. Let us not focus on checking off the list, but of keeping our heads. As we get closer to the big day keep your resolve. Write a little message to yourself if you think it will help; “Would I want to receive a glitter embossed cardboard box shaped like a gingerbread man?” For grab baggers consider something edible. If the spending parameters allow, how about something edible and a modest gift to a food pantry? Now how about that niece, colleague, stranger who you don’t know well enough to select a nice gift but feel compelled to give them a gift nonetheless? Money works. Money always fits and can’t be returned. Gift cards are usually to benefit the store/business and are no less crass than money. They are no less crass and more offensive. “I’m giving you money and telling you where to spend it.” isn’t the most giving sentiment. Still feel that cash is cold? How about giving an equal amount (in the recipient’s name) to a local charity or not for profit organization? Who wouldn’t be touched by that thought?

Less landfill more goodwill.

 
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Posted by on December 3, 2012 in Holiday, Style

 

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Your Clothes Miss You

29 Nov

Wherever you go throughout your day or evening you’re likely to encounter someone who appears to be on the brink of downward facing dog. Doctor’s waiting rooms, grocery stores, department stores and classrooms will no doubt boast at least one person in yoga pants. You may think to yourself; “Oh they have just returned/are on their way to a yoga class.” If this is the case I pity the poor forsaken changing room; it’s cubbies and benches empty and lonely. Perhaps all these stretchy panted people are returning/on their way to storefront yoga studios whose only distinguishing feature is a wooden floor and bacteria sodden mats. The transition from clothes boutique to yoga studio consisted only of a few lotus decals and an oppressive air of serenity; bereft of a changing room.

That storefront-no dressing room scenario explains some percentage of the ‘no, no, they just look like sweats/pajamas” yoga pant wearing crowd. Of course people are allowed to wear whatever they wish. But a sea of black spandex is a bit dismal. We all have days in which we don’t want to get dressed (they’re usually called ‘sick’ days.) But these athletic clad people are out socializing in the world. They are at lunch and shopping for non-essentials (both activities one doesn’t immediately associate with clinical depression.)

Not everyone enjoys clothing and/or accessories. Some people consider dressing a bore and a chore. No amount of “You look like a sad mime!” messaging is going to make an impact. Perhaps the message that ‘wearing spandex leads to needing spandex’ might influence their decisions. As we embark on this season of shortening days and excessive gaiety, a zipper and button can be a guy/gal’s best friend. As you reach for the second glass of champagne or third mini-quiche, you might feel the pinch of a strained waistline of actual clothing. Nothing modifies behavior more quickly or efficiently than physical discomfort.

For people who do enjoy clothes and/or accessories it’s important to remember that clothes need air. They need to be worn and have a life. They are not meant to be purchased only to languish in closets/dressers. If you’re thinking; “I want to be comfortable” ask yourself why your real clothes are uncomfortable. If you’re thinking; “It’s too much trouble” perhaps you’re underestimating yourself. There’s something quite uplifting about making a bit of an effort (and it is such a little effort.) Walking out your door wearing actual clothing communicates; “Hey world I’m ready” both to you and to the world.

 
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Posted by on November 29, 2012 in Style

 

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