RSS

Category Archives: Well-Being

Make Someone Happy*

06 Feb

making hearts

Ah Valentine’s Day, the mercifully timed holiday to break up the dark dreary winter months. It is a holiday filled with red & pink hearts, candy and flowers. It is also a holiday rife with the opportunity to make people feel sad or hurt. Its ability to singe is utterly democratic. Children don’t receive enough classroom cards, teenagers don’t receive carnations or cupcakes at school, and grown people find themselves questioning (or despairing over) their relationship status. Of course there are many who receive the flowers, candy, jewelry, attention and are greatly relieved. Overall, a lot of people spend February 14th unconsciously holding their breath.

It would be easy (and sane) to cite the fact that Valentine’s Day is an enormous economic creation for the greeting card, flower, restaurant, and candy business. We could bah humbug our way through, mumbling mood bolstering ‘commercialism’ and ‘suckers’ affirmations. But what if we tackled it from the other end? What if instead of risking disappointment we went back to our construction paper roots? Remember the days of safety scissors and oak tag? There was a delicious pride in creating a reasonably shaped heart. Colored tissue and white paper doilies were used in excess; the results often resembling a powder room gone wrong. The creation(s) were steeped with love (and spilled glue) as they were most likely made for a parent or grandparent. There was an unbridled anticipation that caused many child to thrust the (slightly sweaty) valentine into the recipient’s hand before the 14th. The adult would coo and swoon and the child would feel five feet tall. It wasn’t until later in the week or childhood, that Valentine expectation and disappointment were introduced.

So let’s all take a collective leap back in time. Let’s spend this next week creating something for others. Gifts of homemade baked goods are always divine, but they’re not everyone’s bailiwick. Perhaps there’s an old photo you could frame? Maybe you have a favorite poem you could write on a beautiful piece of stationery (with proper citation of course.) Is there a friend (or acquaintance) who could use a respite? Bringing them coffee, taking them out, or watching their child/loved one is a wonderful gift. If you are one of those lucky creative types, break out the glitter (it’s not just for Saturday night you know) and make some gorgeous bespoke cards.

Yes, it is positively dreamy to receive lovely gifts that make us feel understood and appreciated. Who doesn’t want to be swept up in a sea of romance and a soaring soundtrack? Love is one of the greatest gifts of life. Whether we are the recipient or the giver (or ideally both) love simply makes sense of life. Acts of love make life fun. So make someone happy this Valentine’s Day, and you will be happy too.

*”Make someone happy, make just one someone happy, and you will be happy, too.” Jule Styne (1960)

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 6, 2013 in Holiday, Well-Being

 

Tags: , , , , , ,

Dealing Prescription Drugs

03 Feb

Pill

Drug abuse has existed since the dawn of time (or at least since the first person ground a leaf into powder.) Just about any substance can be misused or abused. Many drugs lend themselves to misuse/abuse due to their mood altering effects. However in recent years antibiotics have become misused as well. As a culture we are not entirely comfortable with discussing prescription or over-the-counter (OTC) drug abuse. We know what drug abusers (a.k.a. junkies) look like; we’ve seen them in movies and magazine features. Surely the (pill taking) carpooling mom next door can’t be abusing drugs; look at her! Those honor students doing homework in the media room can’t be abusing A.D.H.D. medication; look at how well they’re doing! What adds a heavy opaque veil to the detection is that these drugs come from doctors. Doctors know a thing or two about the human body and what is good for us, no? In theory, yes.

Detecting drug abuse during a 3-5 minute office visit is not easy. There are those who live with people day in and day out and still have no knowledge of drug misuse/abuse. This is by no means to suggest that doctors shouldn’t prevent and detect misuse/abuse. Quite the contrary. We need to incentivize the doctors to limit prescription writing (kind of the way drug companies give incentives to write the prescriptions.) Primary doctors need to spend time asking pointed and probing questions and not merely relying upon questionnaires to make diagnoses for mood altering drugs. Doctors must know the signs of dependency and always err on the side of lower dosage. Doctors know the signs of mental illness and should be on alert for signs of self-medicating behavior. Doctors should refer patients to a mental health practitioner if there are any doubts about stability. The mental health practitioner and referring doctor must decide in concert what medication (if any) is best for the patient.

Pharmacies are already set up to detect prescription abuse. But there are gaps and it’s not considered abuse to fill legitimate prescriptions. We need to start with source (or ‘dealer’ as he/she is known on the street.) Doctors are not looking to get people ‘hooked’, not consciously anyway. For the most part they want their patients to be healthy and happy. They certainly don’t want to see their patients in pain, physical or psychic. Pain medication is tricky business and that’s why there are specialists and pain clinics. Managing pain and pain amelioration can’t happen in a 3-5 minute general practitioner’s office visit. General practice is not the place for treating a cognitive, behavioral or mood issue either. Psychologists and psychiatrists are trained to diagnose learning disorders, and behavior and mood disorders. Relying on general practitioners to treat all aspects of the human condition is quaint and ridiculously. No one person can possibly be up to date on all the medical developments of the 21st century.

We’ve become rather blasé about medicine; ironically as it’s become space age in its sophistication. But we are wrong to do so. Often times, dangerously wrong. Drugs are drugs; whether they come in a childproof bottle or a tiny ziploc bag. They can be life saving or ending, and should be treated as such.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on February 3, 2013 in Cultural Critique, Well-Being

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Step Into The Sun, Step Into The Light

28 Jan

emerald city

It’s been four weeks since we; stubbed out our last cigarette, scarfed our last overgrown cupcake, corked the bottle, and put on sneakers. How are we doing? Have there been some slips? Have there been any results? Well there’s some bad news and some good news. Bad first? Well, three weeks is when a new activity really loses its aura of novelty. The excitement of starting something has ebbed. Now it’s just doing the activity. If you haven’t seen immediate or significant results you might just be thinking; “one donut never hurt anyone.” You may have started a convincing inner dialogue of “Ya know four weeks is a long time. I showed I could do it if I put my mind to it. This is just a bad time for me. I’ll pick it up again when…” And you’d be right. January is a dumb time to change physical behavior. So are you ready for the good news? A new behavior becomes habit at five weeks. That’s right, you are almost at the sweet spot. This doesn’t mean that in one week you will awaken to a svelte non-craving new self. It means that it will no longer feel like a virtual living hell on earth to engage in your resolution behavior.

Instead of simply enduring this last week of drudge, let’s use it to tweak ourselves.

If it’s tobacco that you are trying to excise from your life, do you have proper support? Have you seen a doctor (who might suggest nicotine patches/gums?) Do you have a (smoke-free) buddy you can talk to/hang with? Have you cleaned and made uncomfortable all your smoking spots? Have you eliminated or altered smoking triggers (that after dinner coffee, those work breaks, the commuting)? Are you putting your cigarette money somewhere visible? Have you earmarked your new wealth for something? In just one week you are going to feel incredibly proud of yourself! You’ve made real and considerable strides in prolonging and improving the quality of your life. And your skin is going to look so much better.

If comfort foods have made you much too comfortable you may be questioning your resolve right about now. It’s January! A long dark month quite simply designed for massive doses of carbohydrates. But we’re four weeks in, so dammit it’s full steam ahead. If you’re interested in losing more than 20% of your body weight, you’ve seen a doctor, yes? Have you banished all processed/sugar infused/empty calorie food and beverage from your home/bag/car/desk/pockets/nightstand/locker? Good. Do you write down any and everything that passes your lips? You must. Food amnesia is the single biggest weight loss sabotage. You may be eating/drinking at times and not considering the calories. That overpriced latte? It’s not coffee it’s a hot milkshake. The glass of wine (or two or three) after work/with dinner total real calories. The birthday/retirement/fertility office party cake? Eating with people you don’t particularly care for does not burn calories. There’s nothing wrong with overpriced coffee, wine or cake. There’s only something wrong with mindless eating. It will get you. Now have you found a nice substitution for the afternoon snack/wine? Perhaps some flavored teas? Maybe lighting a scented candle is all the sensory comfort you need. The only way permanent behavior change works is if it doesn’t feel punitive. Consider adopting one or two new (or forgotten) behaviors that would feel rewarding.

Have you noticed that your workout clothes aren’t being washed as much as they were a few weeks ago? Is all the treadmill/stair-master/soul cycling very dull? Does real life get in the way? You’re not a failure; you’re just not a hamster who is perfectly enthralled with walking to nowhere. It’s time to find what makes you happy. No really. There was probably once a time you enjoyed playing/moving. Did you love to dance? Was it double-dutch that made your heart sing? Figure it out! Find the adult 21st century equivalent and do it. No one is watching and no one cares. The only way this is going to work (and it will work) is if you enjoy what you’re doing. Maybe you love learning new things? Use that to your fitness advantage. Take on new and complicated activities on a regular basis. Fitness is not a chore it’s time for yourself and a wonderful way to feel (and stay) alive.

Changing behavior in any real and lasting way is not easy. (If it were the world would be a much nicer place.) We all want (in our heart of hearts) to be our best selves. Often our best intentions are stymied by the pesky existence of others. But we do have complete control over how we treat our bodies. Physical behavior change that will lead to a healthier (and perhaps happier) you is attainable and within reach.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 28, 2013 in Well-Being

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Facts Of Life

17 Jan

Maude

It’s been forty years since the passing of Roe v Wade. Forty years. That’s a very long time. In 1973 we were still smoking in restaurants, elevators and hospitals. In 1973 women were called girls and people of color were called worse. Push button phones were the edgiest things in communication technology and fancy people had remote controls for their televisions. We’ve come a long way baby! Or have we? The fight against reproductive freedoms is in full force and we seemed to have learned little. Literally. If you were to listen to the arguments or soundbites of anti-choice proponents you’d find yourself wondering how you missed that particular biology lesson. It’s alarming to discover grown people (who have made reproduction their raison d’etre) know so little about reproduction.

Babies don’t live inside of people, zygotes, embryos and fetuses do (in that order.) Semantics you say? Perhaps, but words are power; just ask any 50 year old “girl” or racially slurred man.

Contraception and birth control are not the same thing (though their end results are the same.) Contraception prevents conception. Any barrier device (i.e., diaphragm, condom, etc.) or spermicide (in the best case scenario) prevents a sperm from fertilizing an egg. Sterilization would fall into the category of contraception as well. Any method or procedure that prevents a fertilized egg from becoming a baby is birth control. All hormonal methods fall into this category (i.e., I.U.D., birth control pills, implants, etc.) as part of their efficacy is that they work to prevent uterine adherence. Spontaneous and medical abortions are also birth control. If anti-choice advocates believe that a fertilized egg is a human life, they should take a long hard look at all birth control.

By ignoring the erroneous use of terminology and the manipulation of biological fact it’s as if we endorse the fallacies. Of course we need only go to the movies or watch television to know that we’re doing a pretty bang-up job of ignoring the whole issue altogether. It’s been forty years since Maude had an abortion (with zero viewer controversy,) yet you’d be hard-pressed to ever see a character rationally choosing this option. In 2013 soap operas (once the bastion of contemporary socially relevant dramatization) refers to abortion only with hush and horror; “She was seen outside of an abortion clinic!” A relatively sophisticated police drama depicted a female athlete (how 21st century) choosing to be charged for a crime she didn’t commit rather than have people know she had (gasp) an abortion. Routinely teenage characters are depicted as having only two choices when faced with an unplanned pregnancy (and both involve giving birth.)

Half of all unplanned pregnancies in the Unites States are terminated. It’s left to our imaginations to determine how many unplanned pregnancies occur. It’s a relatively safe bet that at any book club across our land there are at least a couple of stories to be told. And maybe that’s part of our fractured and false conversation. Women don’t talk about abortion. They’ll talk about everything else under the sun, but not abortion. You can’t get through a bridal shower without hearing about pee sticks, frequency, duration, enhancers, gizmos, gadgets and gewgaws. But nothing would bring the consistency of mucus conversation to a screeching halt like the mention of the “A” word. Why? How did we come to believe that there was any shame in freedom of choice? How did taking responsibility for our health, our lives and for the future become tainted? How did we fall under the spell of the anti-choice rhetoric?

We can create small individual revolutions by adopting appropriate terminology. It’s probably a bit of a buzz kill to discuss any gynecological procedure at a bridal shower. But there’s ample opportunity to correct on-air and real people when they refer to fetuses as babies. Pointing out that birth control works very much like abortion does could make some waves as well. We’ve gotten to a point in this country where the loudest voice gains the most credence, not matter how ill informed or flat out wrong that voice is. Tuning out the screamers is not good enough; we need to add scientific and sociological fact to the noise.

 
1 Comment

Posted by on January 17, 2013 in Cultural Critique, Well-Being

 

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

When Progress Falls Short

15 Jan

rail

New York State is passing new gun regulations. They are the first to do so after the 2012 Newtown (Connecticut) school shooting. The legislation will be lauded for its expanded ban on assault weapons and a broader definition of those weapons. The part of the legislation that will probably get the least attention the mention of mental illness. We seem to agree (subconsciously at least) that massacring innocent people is not the work of a sane individual. We also collectively agree that there are many many people struggling with their thoughts and feelings every single day. Most of us would agree that if we have a mental health system in this country to speak of, it is filled with holes and dead ends. So any legislation that even begins to address the mentally ill is a good thing, no?

Not when the legislation is a directive to mental health practitioners to report patients who are going to harm themselves and others, allowing the authorities to then remove guns from that patient’s home. Talk about your paper tigers! If people struggling with mental illness had access to a practitioner we’d have reason to celebrate! If mental health practitioners could predict who will cause harm we would be living in a very safe world indeed. A person is determined to be a danger to him/herself or others when the patient says that he or she is a danger to him/herself or others. So this ‘dangerous’ group is now a minute percentage of the actual group of potentially dangerous people. Now compound that with the fact that this new legislation might deter someone with any hint of paranoia or delusion from seeking mental health support. Add to that mess the fact that the shooting that prompted this legislation was done with weapons belonging to the murderer’s mother, not the man himself. You see how this might be more smoke than substance?

This could and should be the opportunity to decree that people haunted by their thoughts and impulses should not have to work so hard to get care. This is our chance to say that mental illnesses are complex and challenging to treat, but so is cancer and like cancer we need to go at it with everything we’ve got. Right now before the voices or the rage or the hopelessness cause a person to lash out on a subway platform, or slash someone on the street or shoot a toddler with a handgun or burn down a home; is when we should say that decent people do not allow this to continue. Decent people know that when we choose to not fight for those that need us most we forever must bear some responsibility for the consequences. Decency doesn’t allow for empty gestures or placating. There is no doubt that any restriction on guns is good for our country, and this legislation makes an impact on that goal. The public may very well applaud the creators of this legislation. There may be pats on the back and a nice sense of achievement. But at the end of the day the authors of this legislation know that they missed a golden opportunity to make real, humane and lasting change and may have stalled whatever building momentum there was to do so.

 
Leave a comment

Posted by on January 15, 2013 in Cultural Critique, Well-Being

 

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

← Older posts
Newer posts →