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Please To Put A Penny*

My mailbox (and inbox) have been stuffed to the gills with donation requests since November. Cashiers in chain stores have been asking me if I’d like to donate to their company’s favorite charity for months now. The sidewalks are dotted with bell ringing charity workers (every time a bell ring and angel writes a check?) A person might suffer a wee bit of wallet fatigue by the time the holiday actually arrives.

If you find the notion of holiday tipping repugnant, I would encourage you to reexamine your stance. Whether one celebrates Christmas or not, we live in a country which considers the day to be a national holiday of sorts. Many traditions have developed in support of this practice. It is customary (when possible) to give employees the day off on Christmas Day. It is also the time of year in which people express their gratitude for work done throughout the year. Hence, the Christmas bonus. For those of us who are not a C.E.O. of a grand financial institution,the Christmas bonuses we dole out are more like, uhm, tips.

It is customary to tip anyone who regularly provides a valued service to you or your family, such as:

Grooming Professionals (hair stylists, manicurists, etc.)
Babysitters (for humans or canines)
Tutors
Cleaners
Home Health Aide
Handy-people
Newspaper deliverer
Mail Carrier**

Where one lives determines another list to be considered:

Assisted Living & Nursing Home staff
Apartment Building Superintendent
Doormen

I have often heard people grumbling about tipping their building staff. I would just like to point out that you probably were not forced to live in a doorman building, anymore than you were forced to eat food served to you by a waitress. It is implicit in the service sector that not all compensation comes from an employer.

There may be others you would like to acknowledge during this season. I would caution however, to consider a gift (versus a tip) if the individual is not a service professional. **And while mail carriers are not to accept cash gifts, I am a scofflaw in this regard, as my mail carrier is too lovely to me to be the recipient of baked goods (despite their indescribable deliciousness.)

How much one gives is entirely up to the individual. There are no hard and fast rules, there are only guidelines. Never give more than makes you comfortable or than you can afford. Give the amount which makes you happy. Yes, happy. Tipping, like gift giving, is not the result of extortion. It should be a genuine expression of your thanks. And why in the world would you say thank you unless you actually felt gratitude?

Hee Haw and Merry Christmas.

* …in the old man’s hat. (“A Round About Christmas”-The Kingston Trio)

Dressed In Holiday Cheer

01 Dec

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. There is so much festivity that only the Grinchiest of us can not find something to enjoy. Sidewalks scented with cut evergreens, lobbies festooned in live floral and greenery, twinkling lights and flickering candles; it’s simply mood altering. It is no wonder that holiday parties abound. Whether your invitation has arrived on embossed linen stationery or as an email blast, the result is the same: what to wear?!

Special occasion dressing is at its core, creating the very best version of one’s self. Holiday dressing is no different, but comes with a few (easily avoided) pitfalls.

Sparkle, shine, shimmer are the order of the day. Fear not, a strategic approach will prevent you from looking like a female impersonator on a farewell tour. If you are heading out to purchase a new tog, tread slowly and lightly. There are party clothes being sold which are designed for a very small segment of the population. It is an unfortunate fact of life, that on most of us a gold lame smoking jacket only conjures Liberace. Head to toe glitz should be avoided at all cost. With glam, a little goes a long way. If you choose to bedazzle your torso, keep shoes, jewelry and bags in matte. A sparkly top with a black pant or jeans can be paired with a more glitzy shoe. Be careful with your jewelry however, or that sparkly top may start to resemble a tree topper. It’s all about balance. Just as you wouldn’t show excessive leg with decolletage, your sparkly mustn’t upstage your shine. Be equally judicious with nail lacquer and hair accessories. It is easy to get caught up in the occasion with results similar to a gingerbread house in the hands of a kid with a frosting bag. All admonition aside, have fun. This is a great time to take a small step outside one’s comfort zone. Is there a jewel tone silk blouse in the back of your closet, yearning to breathe free? Have you been ogling a pair of tuxedo pants? Is there a shoe so impractical it should be outlawed? Have at it! “Tis the season.

For business parties (keeping in mind that “business” always trumps “party”) a workplace outfit can be easily festooned. Slip on a sparkly or shiny pair of heels, perhaps a patent leather pump in a kicky color. Stash your necessities in a pretty impractical clutch. Choose one glitzy jewel (sparkly earrings OR necklace OR pin.) Holiday parties are a great time to justify those vintage brooches. You are ready for the office party where you will drink sparingly and be your most charming self, and do nothing to cause regret or employment uncertainty.

Because one should never assume, the following are ironclad Don’ts: Thou shall never adorn oneself with a theme sweater as it saddens Santa. Thou shall never don a chapeau similar to that of Santa’s for that is an abomination. Thou shall not reference reindeer in any manner; including the wearing of antlers. I can shoot straight, if I don’t have to shoot too far.* Happy Holidays!

* – Scarlett O’Hara

We Gather Together

22 Nov

It’s almost time. The turkey is defrosting, the wine has been purchased and we’ve unearthed the tablecloth. We are poised for that magical holiday: when our family gathers around the groaning table for the annual telling of the “Time We Left Brenda At The Parade (and blithely journeyed on to Thanksgiving dinner without her)” story. As the first words are uttered, eager faces turn upwards and the chattering ceases. We settle into a quaint familial posture, reveling in this heartwarming tradition. The story never alters. The ending always the same. The mother invokes her; “I knew she didn’t do it on purpose” line. (Dear reader, I implore you not to spend too much time wondering how a child leaves herself at the parade on purpose.) The father shamefaced, swears he has reformed his communicating ways. And then we eat.

The variety of food is more or less the same regardless of who hosts. The turkey has the most variation from year to year. Butterball, free range, organic, kosher, we’ve had them all. Under-cooked and over-cooked, we’ve lived to celebrate another year. Sweet potatoes have been canned, candied, mashed and stewed. I’m here to tell you, it makes no difference whatsoever. Change recipes if you’re bored, knock yourself out if you love to cook. But whatever you do, don’t worry about it. No one cares. This is not the time to channel Billie Burke in Dinner At Eight. No one gives a hoot about the aspic. You are not preparing for a gourmet magazine photo shoot (which is a good thing considering what they do to the food to have it photograph well!) People are coming to your home because they want to be with you. They are delighted to not be cooking AND to be fed. They don’t care what state your home is in (as long as you have the necessities in the loo.) They are not measuring the viscosity of your gravy or the moisture level of your bird. There’s no such thing as a flaky crust in a pumpkin pie, and no one cares if you made all or none of it yourself. Being knackered is no way to enjoy a holiday. Buy what you can, prepare ahead of time and above all else, delegate. People like to feel needed.

Thanksgiving is one of the few holidays we have that’s sole intent is gratitude. There are no cards, gifts, tips or parties. The only societal expectation is that we gather with family and/or friends, eat and drink in excess and give thanks for the opportunity to do so. This year, just like every year, after the last bit of pie has been scraped out of the dish, and the top buttons have been opened, one of us will chime; “remember that year we all had the flu and the ones who could keep food down had turkey t.v. dinners?” That, dear reader is what great Thanksgiving memories are made of.

Here She Is Boys

Tag Archives: holiday

Please To Put A Penny*

Dressed In Holiday Cheer

We Gather Together

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