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A Well Seasoned Style

03 Oct

When it comes to style and presentation what possibly could be left to say? We all know by now that fit and flatter are essential ingredients and attitude is an asset. But yet. But yet. If you live in a four season kinda town, you’ve no doubt witnessed the “Autumn? I am not familiar with your ways.” style that abounds. People who only weeks ago had managed to reasonably dress themselves now stumble squinting into the outdoors like a newborn colt. They’ve grabbed last year’s something, purchased this year’s new thing and found their way out the door. Sometime before Thanksgiving it will all come together, but why wait? If you’re doing any of the following; stop:

  • Weather – there are apps for this; use them
    • A down jacket on a day reaching 75 degrees paints a dwelling optional portrait
    • Rain happens, and no one looks good wet (with the exception of the Man from Atlantis and Esther Williams)
  • Hemisphere Dressing
    • If it’s cold enough to wrap that 4-foot piece of cloth around your neck (a look previously only seen in desert regions) it’s too cold to wear shorts
    • Wearing a jaunty felt fedora is fabulous; but not if it’s worn with a sundress
    • Have your top part and bottom part appear to be going to the same place
      • Farm boots or chef shoes paired with a dress looks cuckoo
      • Leather jacket and flip-flops? What’s that for; a biker beach?
  • Season as an after thought
    • Throwing a fur jacket over a micro mini skirt isn’t so much seasonally appropriate as it is ‘working girl’ appropriate
    • Linen pants and suede boots together are oil and water and there might even be a biblical prohibition
    • Layering is lovely; piling on every lightweight sweater you own gives the impression that you’re fleeing a house fire

Starting anything new takes a bit of thought. But you’d be surprised by the muscle memory lurking below your recently chilled skin. When you have a moment (oh, hush; you have a moment) dig out all of your cold weather apparel. It’s like shopping for free! Take a good look at what you’ve got (and do make sure it fits.) Then just think of these easy guidelines:

  • Tone is everything
    • Pieces shouldn’t match they should look happy together
    • Everything you have on should look as if it could be displayed in the same section of a store
  • Add a layer
    • How exciting is a jacket? No really. Blazers, cardigans, outerwear magically transform clothes into an Outfit!
  • Make friends with your mirror
    • Relearning how to dress takes a few days (or severe weather shifts) a mirror will help this process along
      • Before leaving the house (that’s right; After your jacket is on!) take a good look. Does your whole body look as if it’s off to the same destination? Are you wearing a down vest with a party dress and heels? It’s not a good look on a sorority pledge, and it’s not a good look for you.

It’s a gorgeous time of year filled with golden and vibrant color. Our foods and feasts become more simmered and lingering. We reclaim our root system and hunker down around the hearth. We are cozy and covered and profoundly grateful for the generosity of an oversized sweater and leggings. Happy Autumn!

 
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Posted by on October 3, 2012 in Style

 

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Playing Dress-Up

16 Aug

 

Been shopping lately? Have you noticed how the children’s apparel market has grown? Sizes that included 2T and 6X were once relegated to an upper floor of a department store, suggesting that only after adults clothe themselves would they consider fashion for babies. We now have entire chains dedicated to children’s fashion as well as adult clothiers that have created children’s fashion lines. It’s not as if children of the 1970s and 1980s ran around barefoot and naked. So why the market glut of teeny tiny clothes?

Most children do not do their own shopping and most do not have their own income stream, so presumably big people are buying wee clothes. Now if you are to believe the media and your own bank statements, these are not exactly flush times. Of course these chain stores for the toddling set are not pricey, but the only way they are staying in business is if lots of inventory is being liquidated often. A child’s entire wardrobe does not need to be replaced every season (unless the child has a rapid growth syndrome.) A winter jacket can usually make it through two New Years. Even children without siblings could be wearing second hand clothes. And maybe they do. But if so, why all these shops? It’s hard to believe that stores filled with teeny fashion trends are actually going after the “necessity market.” Fake fur shrugs and sequined mini-skirts speak more to child styling versus child dressing.

In this great country of ours it is usually the female parent who is doing the shopping and dressing of the smalls. Could it be that for some of us, dress up is fun? Could it also be that dressing a little person is easier because of it being baggage free? Anything “mini” is by definition cute. No toddler ever thinks; “Wow those pull-up pants make my ass look huge.” Whether mommy’s behind is bigger than it once was or than desired, it takes a lot more effort to dress oneself than one’s child. There really are no Garanimals for adults, and sticking a color-coordinated bow in our hair doesn’t make an outfit as much as it begs the question; What DID ever happen to Baby Jane? Having an adult sense of style means knowing what suits you and that of course means having some self-awareness.

There is nothing wrong with dressing your little person in short pants and a jaunty derby. But if you are walking by his side in sweats or shapeless dreary apparel, there is a problem. Children are not Chihuahuas and shouldn’t be used as accessories or a way to deflect attention. They learn from example and one of the best lessons they can experience is that their parents are first and foremost people worthy of attention and care.

 
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Posted by on August 16, 2012 in Childhood, Style

 

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Pretty Woman (Walking Down The Street)*

06 Jul

When I saw a woman walking on the street in just a bathing suit I did not say anything. I told myself there could be any number of reasons for such a thing. “Out patient” came to mind, as did “house fire” or “luggage lost.” My therapeutic self wondered if she’d yet to find closure for an unfortunate childhood experience. I decided that a woman walking down the street (of a major metropolis) in only a bathing suit was if not entirely a one-off well then certainly an anomaly. And then I saw another one. However this one was not alone. She was walking with a male companion and talking on the phone (indications of someone sane enough to be socializing.) She was walking right up the avenue, if you will, on the Upper East Side. (For those unfamiliar with this territory think: uber-conventional, traditional, a “society” kind of reputation. There was a time you would find actual blue haired ladies in the area. Today those ladies are tightly pulled, puffed & have their many hued long hair blown straight.) There she was, strolling along in her two scraps of fabric, dyed jet black & white hair, and ink intensive tattoo spanning shoulder to shoulder. No doubt coming from a fitting, choosing a hat or on her way to plan a brunch.

I’ll admit a heat wave is a natural enemy of style. When the temperature slips north of 90 nobody wants anything touching them. A waistband, a sleeve or even a proper shoe could send chills up the spine (which probably would feel refreshing!) A straw hat is practically a must, which causes a muss of the hair. Which is actually fine because who in the world is going to take a blow dryer to their head in this heat? It’s certainly tempting to forgo proper foundation garments because lifting and separating can also be sweaty and suffocating. So style slippage is understandable. Walking around town in a bathing suit is not.

If we were to ask the young lady what exactly she was thinking when she put together her little ensemble; no doubt she would cite “comfort” as her biggest inspiration. Comfort’s great. Ya know what’s comfortable? Bed, bed is very comfortable. But you see being in public is not the same as being in private. Making the choice to leave your house (when it’s not on fire) involves some cerebral cortex functions. Keys? Check. Phone? Check. Lights off, stove off? Check and check. Wearing clothes? Not really. If a bathing suit was clothing a) it wouldn’t have a special name b) it wouldn’t have a special section in the department store c) it wouldn’t only be sold in the summer. No doubt there are times when wearing only a bathing suit while walking is perfectly acceptable; at a marina perhaps or on the boardwalk. But context is king is it not?

We all live in the world. The world is not exactly the same as our living room. Clipping nails on the subway, playing with or styling one’s hair in public (over my lunch) are hostile acts. Choosing to ignore context is tantamount to giving the world the finger. You needn’t dye your hair blue or don a sweater set and pearls to walk the street, but you need to put on some clothes. Without them we will assume that walking the streets is what you “do”.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

*Pretty Woman (1964) Roy Orbison & Bill Dees

 
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Posted by on July 6, 2012 in Style

 

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Shattered Illusions*

06 May

About a year ago, a health care professional offered to glue artificial lashes to my lids.  Glue. Something. To. My. Eyelids.  This offer(?) wasn’t prompted by any medical need.  There’s been no adverse reaction to any treatment or genetic syndrome.  All of my eye hair is present and accounted for.  The woman in scrubs explained that ‘eyelash extension’ was the new big thing.  I replied that false eyelashes were in fact one of the oldest big things.  Ah, but false eyelashes are removed!  The glue she was offering was permanent or until the false hairs drop off (preferably not into something one is cooking.)

When the (head) hair extension phenomenon picked up steam, I found it amusing.  I’ve yet to spot an extension that looks even remotely organic.  I can still picture that mother and daughter having lunch.  They had identical yellow extensions all over their heads.  The shared the same length and shade and visible knots all over the back of their heads.  What kind of psychodrama was playing out that afternoon in which they wouldn’t tell each other that their slips were showing?

The zeal for spray tanning has not faded either.  If you’ve ever been overcome by a sudden mob of midwestern high school seniors on their school trip to Times Square, you might feel a bit like Willy Wonka.  These orange little people are everywhere.  Acrylic nails don’t seem to be going anywhere too soon either.  But if you’ve ever seen them on toes, you’d agree it’s time to ratchet it back a bit.  If people have the time, money and inclination to cover themselves in synthetics, so be it.  There are worse hobbies/vices.  But I would draw the line at gluing things to one’s eye!  What is so striking about all this artifice is how terribly retro it is.  It’s reminiscent of the 1950s; a time that was not all that great for a lot women.

Cone bras and girdles are now push-up bras (and surgery) and girdles with the naughty name; Spanx.  (It’s so much more empowering to have your innards squished when you can wink at the product.)  Hair was set in rollers every night and “done” at the beauty parlor once a week.  Today, hair may or may not be coming from your scalp.  Scalp hair is chemically straightened (because straight hair is fashionable right now) or professionally blown out several times a week (today’s women apparently lack the upper body strength of their ancestors.)  Fashion has a very retro feel as well, with strapless dresses being de rigueur for a decade or so now.  The 1950’s pointy toed pointy heeled shoe has eaten its Wheaties and grown big and tall.  (There’s nothing quite as sad as a woman who can not walk in her own shoes.)

I’m not ready to scream “conspiracy,” but there is something about keeping women in a 1950s mindset that is discomforting.  Do I think eyelash extensions are part of the war on women’s health care?  Not exactly.  Do I think selling young women on the idea of physicality above intellectuality is the backlash of the second wave of feminism?  Probably.  Let me be clear; fashion is fun.  But sometimes it can slide into raison d’etre.  It takes an enormous amount of time (and resources) to emulate Barbie.  When you’re not gluing on hair, you’re lasering it off.  There’s the plumping and the smoothing, the changing of eye-color according to the season.  All this while, finding the “It” bag of the millisecond.  There’s also the unrelenting pursuit of whatever brand is being sold by the celebrity of the moment.

Maybe there wouldn’t be even a whiff of political overtone if men were engaged in the same pursuits.  The majority of the (heterosexual) pairings I’ve witnessed indicate that men are caring less about their appearance as women are caring more.  Perhaps there is only a finite amount of superficiality which can exist on the planet?  Women seem to go to great lengths (no hair extension pun intended) to dress as men seem to look like a 12 year old who just got their wish from Zoltar to “be Big.”  There is certainly a budding relationship between these polarities.  Hopefully it won’t result in more distance between people.

*He thinks I’m lovely but entre nous,
My lashes and nails are stuck on with glue.
Oh, his shattered illusions

Fascinating Aida – Dillie Keane (1983)

 
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Posted by on May 6, 2012 in Style

 

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Spring Is In The Air

10 Mar

The first signs of spring can make the heart soar.  Spotting a crocus or blue jay for the first time, feels in fact, like the first time.  The air is rich with the scent of new growth and we envy the dogs their unselfconscious sniffing.  People walk with their heads up, faces tilted towards the sun, no longer hunched to gird against the wind.  The world feels hopeful, forgiving, on the cusp of new beginnings.

But (cue crashing car and shattering glass sound) like dirty snow on a daffodil, there is the debacle of dress.  Fluctuating temperature, clothes in storage, and winter weight gain, leave people floundering like newborn colts.  Granted, it is the only seasonal change that involves such radical rethinking.  We seem to ease into fall, and winter can often only be discerned by the calendar.  Once it’s cold, it’s cold.  The weight of a sweater is not nearly as daunting as the peeling off of layers.

If you find yourself a bit flummoxed, I offer these friendly little pointers:

  • Buy a thermometer, get a weather app, turn on the radio/tv.  We don’t live in a science fiction movie, we actually know what the weather will be during the day.  If it’s going to reach 70 degrees, leave the parka at home.  The same for the wool hat.  Wearing a wool hat on a nice day screams; “outpatient.”
  • Unless you have neuropathy (and my condolences if you do) you do not need to wear snow boots when there is no snow.  The same is true for fleece lined clogs (which have no business being a “thing” anyway, what is that? the front of your foot gets cold but your heel is made of steel?)
  • Dig out the ballet flats and keds, they’ve missed you and have been pining for this reunion.
  • Hemisphere dressing (in which the top half of your body seems to be from an opposite climate as the lower half) says to the world; “do not make eye contact” “the airline lost my luggage” “ask me about my cult.”
  • Have at least one pair of pants on hand that, well let’s just say is more generous than the others.  Presumably this is not your first time transitioning from winter to spring.  It can’t be a total surprise that those extra glasses of champagne or (boxes of) truffles actually took up residence somewhere on you.  It’s not the end of the world, it’s just a reminder to start moving, and moving away from the table.
  • A fabulous lightweight jacket (cotton, light leather, etc.) is key.  Slip a cardigan underneath in the morning, and a silk or cotton scarf.  By afternoon you can strip down a bit.
  • Do not underestimate the power of a lightweight sweater or jacket in disguising a bit of temporary bulge.
  • When it gets warm enough, and it will, reintroduce your legs to the light of day.  Do not slather them with orange self-tanner for that is a sin (which can be seen from space.)  Pale legs do not look odd in spring, fake tanned ones do.  If you do nothing else for humankind, I implore you to stay away from the self-tanning aisle.  If you are over 3 feet tall and do not have green hair, it is not a good look

Once you’re dressed, get outside.  Spend every moment you can just taking it in.  Soon enough it will be summer and the flowers will become a backdrop instead of the wonder they are at this very moment.  Taking a meal outside will become the norm versus the novelty it is today.  As adults we don’t often get to experience overwhelming feelings of newness.  This is one of those times.

 
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Posted by on March 10, 2012 in Style

 

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