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Lending a (manicured) Hand

20 Aug

I had a disturbing realization yesterday.  I needed an image, not for myself mind you, but a visual image for a work project.  I was searching for an iconic representation of women mentoring women.  I scoured my memory, and search engine, for films, plays, novels, or real life examples which represented women helping women.  I asked colleagues and friends for help.  The best we could deliver were “mentoring moments” within film (ex., Truvy and Annelle in Steel Magnolias, Shug and Celie in The Color Purple.)  I could easily rattle off male mentoring as movie/play themes, as could you.  But any examples of women paired with women on screen uncovers the most cringe inducing phenomenon.  American women in cinema seem to despise one another.  They are in direct competition for the limited resources and options available to them.  When not coveting their professional position, they compete over men and children (The Women, To Each His Own, Gone With The Wind) or shoes (The Wizard of Oz.)  Now I’m not foolish enough to think Hollywood is based on reality (although to be perfectly frank I feel a little disingenuous even typing that sentence, in my heart of hearts I believe the world really wants to be a place where traveling suits, tuxedos and gowns are de rigueur.)  Surely art (created by human beings) stems somewhat from the human experience?!  There is some truth in fiction, is there not?
This is what is so perplexing, and flat out depressing.  I have never (to my knowledge) engaged in any Margo or Eve behavior.  I have worked in less than stable environments and have had my share of erratic and even “diagnosable” bosses.  I actually once worked for the woman known to many in this country as “The Queen of Mean.”  I have also supervised an entirely female staff.  If anything, all the women I’ve worked with (collectively) were more secure and mature than the men.
As far as women mentors, I have had the very good fortune of having two (concurrently) in my life.  I was in my very early twenties and was in a (slightly above) entry level position in a design house.  Maggie was Flemish and beautiful.  She was twenty years older than me and was by far the most stylish woman I had ever met.  Why she took me and my Sears wardrobe under her wing is beyond me.  Our relationship went beyond the sorry state of my attire.  She taught me about men, marriage, life and strength.  Her life had not been an easy one, and by example I learned what true grace is.  My boss at the time, Rosemary, set the bar far too high for supervisors.  She taught me everything about my job and hers and showed me a larger more exciting world.  She was my first and last supervisor who truly understood what it means to lead.  She believed, rightfully, that she was a professional success if she helped me to succeed.  She was not threatened by me despite that fact that the economy and hostile takeover led to my replacing her (I was much cheaper to keep on.)
Now that women in the workplace is a fully normalized occurrence, shouldn’t popular culture keep up?  Of course watching “Real” housewives claw each other is entertaining (?) but the relationships of women are far more varied and interesting than the one dimension of pettiness.  I’m hoping that I am wrong, that I have overlooked an entire collection of film and theatre that celebrates the women supporting women dynamic (remember I still think Judy is going to cajole me to put on a show in the barn.)
 
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Posted by on August 20, 2011 in Cultural Critique

 

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With envelopes, size matters

20 Aug

Acceptance/Rejection: How to Make Sense of it all (and not take it too personally)

It is that magical time of year (for some,) the time of college application completion, and for a select few, the arrival of Early Acceptance letters.   There has never been a time (historically) in which more people were involved in a single applicant’s road to higher education.    While there is still an absurd inequality in K-12 and higher education opportunities in this country, there are few middle class teenagers  who are left to navigate the road to baccalaureate success alone.   We will not argue the merits of this phenomenon in and of itself, but acknowledge that having an audience alters the experience somewhat.
So (with the whole world watching) how does the average 17 year-old both process what it means to be “accepted” and “rejected” but also determine what next steps are best for them?
For some, the decision is a clear cut monetary one.  Which college offers the best financial package (through tuition, grant, scholarship, three-year options, work-study, etc.)  For some, the decision has been made for them by receiving only one acceptance letter (you’d be surprised how many people only apply to one school!)  But for most, the decision is a little more complicated and one adolescents might feel ill-equipped to make.
In my estimation, this may be the one decision that 17 year-olds are actually BEST equipped to make.  Our role as (caring) adults is to guide them through the process without influencing their decision.  The following steps might be helpful in that process:

  • “I’ve been rejected!”  No, actually it is your application that has been rejected, not you.  Being accepted or rejected from a college is not personal.  How could it be?  These people don’t know you!  Have you ever made a collage?  You know, those hodge-podge displays of imagery?  Well, all the photos do not make the cut.  That isn’t because they’re not great photos, but because in creating a collage you need to create (your) perfect artistic balance.  Well, college admissions officers do the same thing.  They are not pitting one student against another, they are creating their vision of a perfect collage of an incoming class.  The fact that you did or didn’t make the cut is not personal.
  • “I didn’t get into my first choice!”  You’re allowed to brood for a bit.  But not too long.  This whole thing is a process, you must remember that.  There is no one perfect choice.  There are millions of choices along the way that lead to wondrous possibilities.  So it’s now time to review your acceptance letters and pick your new first choice.
  • The Prestige Pressure.  There’s no escaping it, is there?  You know where your friends (and enemies) are going.  The college/university brands are being bandied about like designer labels.  Does the most famous school mean it is the best choice for you?  Maybe.  Maybe not.
  • “There are too many factors!”  You’re right, there are.  Get used to it.  No one’s life was ever made worse for too many options.  Choice is a privilege. Not helpful?  Okay, let’s eliminate the things that don’t matter:
    • My boy/girlfriend is going to school X.  (Go ask your parent’s friends and see if anyone who chose a school based on dating is now pleased with that decision)
    • The school has an awesome climbing wall.  (Unless you plan to study physical education, you may be making the wrong choice)
    • The school is close/far from home.  (The only time this should matter is if someone needs support.  If there are family members or you who need the support of home, by all means make this choice to stay close, all others are just being silly)
    • The school has an awesome ‘fill in the blank’ team. (Unless you are an athlete being scouted for said team, don’t be ridiculous)
  • Things that do matter:
    • What is the R.O.I. (return on investment) of the school.  This can be determined by calculating the following:
      • How strong is the department/major of my choice?
      • What are the research opportunities for undergraduates?
      • What is the alumni network like?
      • What is the career placement services?
      • Is there enough diversity (whatever that means to you) for me to expand my experience?
    • Is this a party school.  (Wasn’t expecting that, huh?)
      • Are there the right non-academic options for me (religious, artistic, athletic, Greek system, etc.)
    • How do I feel on campus
      • If you haven’t already, you must go and visit.  There is simply no substitute, virtual or otherwise.
    • Is it the right size for me
      • If you are considering a university, is the college of your choice the right size?  Are there internal transfer options?
      • If you are considering a college, does it feel just slightly too large (which is good?)

In the end, there is no one better equipped to make this choice.  It is important to remember that it is just that, a choice.  You can always change your mind (that’s why transfers were invented.)Wih

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2011 in Education

 

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A Free Man of Color – Review

20 Aug

A Free Man of Color at Lincoln Center is closing very soon and it seems a shame.  Yet, the play itself seems somewhat a shame as well.  Written by John Guare and directed by George C. Wolfe, this production lingers and is lovely and in the end, falls flat.  It is breathtakingly stage with an enormous cast of seasoned solid actors, but it is simply a flawed play.

Set in the very early 1800s, A Free Man of Color is in essence the story of the Louisiana Purchase.  Interestingly enough, this narrative is not as dry as you would imagine.  In fact, it is probably the most solid aspect of the work.  Where the play falls flat is in the lack of dramatic tension and emotional connection.  While the play is saturated in texture and tale, it left me emotionally cold.  I was never pulled onto that stage, I was merely a spectator.  Perhaps there were smaller issues at hand; the periodic (incongruous) rhyming, the smattering of sophomoric humor, and the genital storyline did feel self conscious to me.  However, I doubt I would have noticed as much had I been rooting or caring for someone on that stage.

The empty emotional space is certainly not the fault of the actors.  They are fabulous and include Jeffrey Wright and Mos Def (I know!) as the leads.  I can’t even believe I am stating that Mr. Def was the most poignant portrayal of the evening.  I briefly considered putting my arm around him and giving him a “there there.”  His interpretation of his character (the slave) was tight, small and dead-on.

The use of the stage was awe inspiring.  I’ve no doubt the Lincoln Center board blanched at the set design (David Rockwell) but it was money well spent.  The appearance of a simple white screen in Act II evoked a gasp.  The use of (very subtle) puppetry to depict slaves was stirring.  Musicians on the stage worked splendidly and reminded a bit of Ruined.  Quite simply, there was so much to love in this production.  The play had been cut (and is now a formidable 2 1/2 hours) and workshopped, but not enough in my estimation.   It is frustrating to sit in a theatre and watch intelligence and care unfold, and know that it really should close.  Adding to my sadness is that I have no doubt that the hundreds of empty seats would have been filled if the cast was comprised of movie or talent show stars.

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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Lines Are Drawn

20 Aug

Have you noticed a cultural aversion to boundaries?  It seems the very concept of boundaries, and hence the concept of “others” has taken on a verboten quality.  A very disingenuous verboten quality I may add.
Certainly the phenomenon of parent as “friend” and child as equal member of the family has been observed and critiqued.  Do parents still even have locks on their bedroom door?  Whatever boundaries existing there are pretty much invisible to the naked eye.
But what of larger more far reaching lack of boundary phenomenon?  I recently was on the bewildering end of a religion conversation.  My conversational partner insisting that lots of Jewish people celebrate Christmas, and advising me that I was being dogmatic in my view of religion.  Isn’t that the whole point of religion?  Doesn’t a great deal of religious identity depend on identifying what it is not?  Judaism is a whole lot of things, and one of them is that it is NOT celebrating Christian holidays.  Do I know of many people of Jewish origin who in attempts at either not denying their cherubs or in their own ambiguous identity have embraced Christmas?  Absolutely.  But why is it wrong or “rigid” to maintain or at least recognize, a boundary?  Haven’t we fought wars over such things?  Don’t we have an entire government based upon parties whose very existence is predicated on not being a member of the “other” party?
We are all equal as human beings, but it is dismissive and offensive to maintain that we are all the same.

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2011 in Cultural Critique

 

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Bells Are Ringing – Review

20 Aug

A show of hands please for those of you who are sick of me waxing poetic about Encores! at New York City Center.  You, yes you there in the back, may want to lower that hand and use it to delete this now.

Last night I attended the dress rehearsal of Bells Are Ringing, the opening show of the 18th season of Encores!  Directed and choreographed by Kathleen Marshall (The Pajama Game, Wonderful Town, etc.) this production soars.  Featuring Kelli O’Hara, Judy Kaye, Dylan Baker, and Bobby Cannavale, this staged concert version of Comden and Green and Julie Styne is the purest of incarnations.  The rather straightforward book involves an answering service receptionist, Ella (O’Hara) and her good nature meddling into the subscriber’s lives.  There is a romantic plot line as well, and a criminal sub plot.  The songs are delightful (Just In Time, The Party’s Over) and there are simply insufficient superlatives for the full orchestra.  As in all Encores! productions, the orchestra is center stage and directed by Rob Berman.  To be able to see and hear a musical overture?  Well, I am at a loss for words.
The dance numbers throughout are simply delicious.  I am not entirely sure which, if not all, of the numbers were the original Jerome Robbins and Bob Fosse creations.  Although, the Second Act number; Mu-Cha-Cha simply screamed Fosse.  The subway car number; Hello, Hello There! is brilliant in its seemingly simple execution.  It is actually quite complicated, but so well choreographed as to seem organic.  I’m not sure there is a higher standard for choreography than that.  Ms. Marshall is quite kind to Ms O’Hara, a non-dancer, the utmost respect is due for directors who actually protect their actors.
Ella is the center of the show, and it takes a very charismatic actress to pull that off.  Ms. O’Hara does so without breaking a sweat.  She is perhaps one of the best theatrical singers around today.  Acting (very well) while singing (very well) is more rare than you would think.  If there is any tiny flaw in Ms. O’Hara’s interpretation of Ella it is her own aristocratic air.  Given more rehearsal time, I’ve no doubt she could lose that entirely and embrace the more vulnerable and slightly common character of Ella.  There were two moments that proved this theory beyond a doubt.  Ms O’Hara flubbed her lines on two different occasions resulting in a glimpse of a different facade.  The first time is definitely worth specifying as the mistake was hysterical.  She instructed the struggling playwright to sit at his computer and write.  In 1956.  The audience roared, and she was vulnerable and devoid of grace for a moment.   I also think she is not particularly well served by the Judy Holliday wig.  It is hard enough to shake the image of the incomparable Ms. Holliday while watching this show.
What is so fabulous about Encores! is it proves that it is possible to produce wonderful original (note: not staged movies) musical theatre, with amazing talent (on and off stage) and without gimmicks of any sort.  There is an element of “let’s put on a show in the barn” to it, that for me, keeps hope alive.
While this was a dress and that of a concert version, the cast was 95% off book for the entire (over) two hour show.  It is a testament to the vision and artistic integrity of Encores! that such a polished production comes out of the most abbreviated of rehearsal time.  This production is so far along that it would take very little to move it to Broadway, and for all our sakes I do hope that happens.

 
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Posted by on August 20, 2011 in Uncategorized

 

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