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We Got Trouble*

17 Jun

A study has been conducted which examines depression and computer usage.  The researchers evaluated participant’s indications of depressive characteristics and correlated those to computer usage.  People who viewed email compulsively, or viewed a lot of videos on-line also showed signs of depression.  The report concludes with recommendations for a software to alert users of depressive behaviors.  Any intervention or awareness regarding mental illness is a good thing.  But before we start organizing a keyboard awareness day or choosing a color for our ribbons and rubber bracelets, let’s consider this study.

Isn’t the very crux of depression that of an inward orientation?  Are we at all surprised that people who are depressed are not out in the world socializing?  Isn’t the desire to turn on the computer actually a positive sign?  (Versus drawing the curtains and taking to one’s bed?)  Virtual connections are virtual, but sure beat cutting off all contact with the world.  Why would the researches make such a concerted effort to ignore the possibility that increased screen time leads to depression?  I’m not trying to start a rumor or anything, but could it be that they were funded by a mental health software company.

In the end, all this internet sound and fury is reminiscent of the Great Television Scare or Video Game Scourge of years past.  Comic books, dime store novels and packs of sen-sen conjured these same fears once. None of these trends/novelites have the power to ruin.

Depression is an illness it is not an allergic reaction to circumstances.  Do people enter a depressive state due to cataclysmic life events?  Certainly.  But that is a depressive state not depression.  Potato Potahto?  Not exactly.  There are many serious differences between a normative response to sad and/or traumatic events and that of a state of being.  For one thing a depressive state has a beginning, middle and end and a cause.  Knowing there is a cause to feeling so bad is the difference between night and day.  Having your world close in and become gray and fuzzy for no discernible reason is both frightening and self-perpetuating.  Our natural inclination is to move towards pleasure and away from pain.  If you can not see pleasure, if everything you see and feel is dark and thick and unrelenting, you’ve no reason to believe that there is a different world.  The darkness is the reality and it can be difficult to claw your way towards something you can’t detect.

Social isolation can certainly exacerbate depression.  Humans (even the most anti-social of us) are meant to interact.  (As a species we would perish without the desire to mingle.)  However people with depressive tendencies are a diverse group.  Their depression can be triggered or worsened by physical changes (hormonal transitions, illness, sleep deprivation, etc.) by life changes (moving, job changes, marriage, divorce, etc.) by nature (cycles of the moon, seasons, etc.) or by a myriad of other triggers/events.  That said, as an illness whose hallmark is inward focus, forced external interaction can be very effective.  Volunteer work can alleviate symptoms of depression.   It would seem that the very act of doing something for someone else, gives the brain a break from its persevering.

Living in a culture which extols the virtue of self above all else is powerful nourishment for the growth of depression.  If we were to pay attention to all the messaging, we should be painstakingly obsessing over every body part/function and moment in our lives.  We are to chronicle every; party, meal, trip, pee stick, grade promotion, softball game, and sonogram to the world and thereby give us the patina of great significance (Because It Happened To Us.)  We are encouraged not to experience life and its many moments, but to “create memories.”  So much self-consciousness is not good for the self.  Isn’t it a culture of; “your special day” “best snack provider-friendliest-rookie-player trophy” and general sense of entitlement that is far more socially isolating than technology?

When the first books were mass printed, the townspeople were up in arms.  What would happen to communal oral storytelling traditions.  There goes the neighborhood!  The first home radios caused some anxiety no doubt.  Families were now holed up in their living rooms staring at a box.  Little did they know, that box-staring was just beginning.  Television took people out of communal movie theaters (which were/are communal only in the sense of shared germs, smells and noise, not in any actual ‘communing’)  Personal music devices were said to be bad, yet I have never seen a campaign to bring back the boom-box, and I’ve never quite understood how the iPod affects behavior any differently than transistor radios did.

Invention and innovation do not come from the sky to do evil to our land.  They are not the flying monkeys.  Products/progress succeeds because there is a hunger that it satiates.  The fact that consumers represent the population and are thus diverse and include those with mental illness, is expected.  How one behaves, with or without technology will always be a lens into an individual’s inner workings.  Unfortunately it will always be far more tempting to design research or blame which looks to demonize the new and inanimate.  Mental illness, criminal behavior, gambling and pornography obsession are real issues.  Spending our valuable resources to shout; “No, no, look over here, the internet is to blame” does not seem wise.

*The Music Man – Meredith Wilson (1957)

 
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Posted by on June 17, 2012 in Cultural Critique, Media/Marketing

 

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Dear Ms. Magazine

14 Jun

Happy Birthday Ms. Magazine!  It seems like only yesterday when you were born.  It must be annoying to hear that over and over again.  40, wow!  You look great!  Really you do.  Don’t give me that look, it’s okay to care about your looks if you’re a feminist, don’t try that on me.  You look great, really.  You know a lot of other magazines have very bloated advertising, and a rather eerie glossy finish.  But not you.  Yes you’ve freshened yourself up over the years, but that’s what keeps you modern and relevant.

Do you remember the first time you came to my house?  Me neither.  But I remember you being there in those early years.  My housewife mother must have heard about you at her consciousness-raising group and invited you home.  I’m guessing you got passed around a bit.  Household expenditures were tightly monitored (it was the 70s after all, things were tough all over.)  Come to think of it, it took some chutzpah to start a magazine outside of the standard advertising model on the cusp of the recession, didn’t it?  But you never did shy from a challenge.  They laughed at you.  I know you remember that.  Who did you think you were?  A serious magazine for women?  A business run by women?  They said a lot worse too.

It must have been hard at times, all that bullying.  They even made fun of your name.  You know, that name that is now a standard fixture in the English language; appearing on all official documents and forms?  You were the first to talk about abortion openly, instigating untold honest conversations and sharing in homes across the country.  You shone the spotlight on domestic violence, helping to place the shame where it belongs; on the perpetrators.  You gave voice to issues that often had no visible champion.  You helped us to understand our bodies and minds and how they can work.

You never have been popular.  I don’t mean that to be hurtful, it’s actually praise.  Who wants to be adored by the masses?  It’s far more satisfying to be loved by those who ‘get us.’  You did come along at the right time, that’s for sure.  No one was rolling out a red carpet or anything.  No, no.  But the swelling of bias and bigotry awareness of the early 1970s was a boon to Ms. and feminism.  Even the most misogynistic would begrudgingly admit that 51% of the population should be treated equally.  Not so far as enacting the ERA or anything, but wait, no sad stories, this is your birthday!

Milestone birthdays can be affirming but they can also be a bit jarring.  It’s a gift to age, to survive!  While no one wants to live in the past, it is the shared memories that give us a feeling of being a collective.  How many remember when grown women were routinely called ‘girls?’  Remember when we didn’t even have names?!  We were Mrs. Robert Smith or Mrs. Nathan Green.  We not only keep our first and last names now, but sometimes a man actually takes a woman’s name (gasp!)

I remember that you were the only magazine in our house, quite possibly ever.  I’ve no doubt you played some part in my mother returning to school and becoming the writer she always longed to be.  You probably had a hand in the household responsibilities being distributed to all family members (yeah that was just great, thanks!)  I can see your handiwork now, in my own outlook on life.  I struggle, like I know you do, with the backlash of some of our progress.  There are times I thought we’d be further ahead by now.  I know you know.  We still have work to do don’t we Ms.?  Maybe 40 really is the new 30!  Happy Birthday Ms. and thank you.  Now get back to work.

 
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Posted by on June 14, 2012 in Cultural Critique, Media/Marketing

 

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Skout: It’s Not For Boys & Girls

13 Jun

There is no ignoring a headline of 3 child rapes being linked to social apps.  Child rapists have successfully posed as teenagers on Skout and attacked children.  It’s awful, it’s disgusting, it’s devastating, but demonizing social media is shortsighted.

Perhaps I am too literal, but I’m not entirely comfortable categorizing software application whose sole purpose is to bring strangers together as “social” media.  It’s not just the semantics that trouble me, it’s that the category of social media or networking is far too large and vague now.  (As technology grows, our language needs to keep up.  It’s too tempting to make sweeping generalizations otherwise.)  Skout, to my understanding, is an app that children over the age of 13 can legally use to find strangers.  Why?  What could possibly be the reason for such a thing?  What corporate brain trust decided that the teen market was a must-have for this app?  Were the decision makers reassigned from the Joe Camel ad campaign?  Has the dream machine behind flavored vodkas and wine coolers moved on to software marketing?  Have we really in fact allowed corporations to now actively lure children into talking to strangers?

What kind of teenager do we think would be interested in meeting strangers on-line?  Would it be strong, stable children with solid social networks and adult relationships?  I’m guessing not.  Teenagers are nothing if not acutely socially aware.  They know who’s in and who’s out at any given moment.  The adolescent social world shuns strangers.  It is likely that a teen would only seek out strangers if he/she felt alienated by the real social world or had a propensity towards risky behavior.  So let’s make an app available for that!

I worry that this story will cause the villagers to take up arms.  Not against Skout, which seriously needs a trip to the woodshed, but against the bogeyman of social networking.  Should children have access to social networking sites (whose intention are to connect people to those they actually know?)  I’m not sure it’s necessary, but then again I don’t think children need to sport fake sleeve tattoos, so I might not be the best judge. What would be wonderful is if the news of these attacks on children prompts family conversations.  Strangers are people you do not know.  The fact that a friend knows them doesn’t make them less strange.  Someone you’ve heard of is not a friend (that’s why Beyonce isn’t returning your calls.)  I would go so far as to suggest that an adult is not a friend either.  An adult might be a teacher, coach, therapist, tutor or friend of a child’s parent, but not a friend of the child.  But then again, I think putting a toddler in high heels, a sequin dress and fake fur jacket is a slippery slope.

It’s always tempting to blame an outside force, particularly a consumer product.  In this case it actually is appropriate to enforce changes to the product.  But let’s resist the urge to demonize everything we find unfamiliar.  Let’s not run to blanket our airwaves with every child “expert” or media “expert” exposing catchy, yet utterly vague sound bites about children and social networking.  Let’s do our best to remember that technology isn’t the issue, human beings are the problem.  Child rapists by definition will seek out children.  Our job is not to hide our children; our job is to pay attention to who they are and what they need.  We need to know about their world and how they are living in it.  Unless they actually paid for their phone and monthly bills (insert; ‘ha ha ha’) parents have every right/obligation to access the phone on a regular basis.  A child who knows he/she is not living in a secret alternate world from their parents is more likely to make good decisions.  Part of what we teach our children is how to live in the world not how to hide from it.  There will always be dark and dangerous forces in the world.  Strong children with well honed coping tools grow into resilient and successful adults.

 
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Posted by on June 13, 2012 in Childhood, Media/Marketing

 

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The Best Defense Is An Offense

09 Jun

Reports of inappropriate relations with children seem to be on the rise these days.  Why is that?  The more hopeful explanation is that children (and their parents) are savvier and have more ease discussing such issues than those who came before them.  This would suggest that incidents have not increased, but the reporting of them has.  The more frightening explanation however is that more troubled and/or very immature adults are around our children now.

Pedophilia is not the only classification, as it is all boundary crossing behavior we are discussing.  An adult, in a position of authority, who treats a child as an adult is on a slippery slope and is shirking their duties and responsibilities.  A teacher befriending a child is not necessarily a cause for alarm, it can be though if the teacher is immature and doesn’t embrace his/her role as an authority figure.  A sport coach or scout leader who takes a special interest in one or two children may also cause concern.  This is not a ‘boogie man’ “the sky is falling” call to arms.  It has always been the case that we need to keep a critical eye on adults who choose to spend time with children.

A physical relationship with a child has no shades of gray.  It is inexcusable and intolerable and we should be doing far more to prevent its occurrence.  We can not send children to school or camp, wrapped in armor.  Instilling them with a fear of adults is a huge disservice and ineffective (as some abuse is at the hands of other children or teenagers.)  But there are things we can do.

  • We can make our children strong
    • A child with strong self-esteem is less likely to be singled out for attention
    • A child should know how to stand up and say in a loud clear voice; “NO”
    • A child with an empathetic and loving adult in their lives, who spends time with them and is available emotionally is far less likely to respond to the adult attention
  • All employees need to be screened
    • Psychological tests must be given to all employees whose majority of work involves children
    • Medical professionals, teachers, coaches, school bus drivers, custodial staff need all be screened
    • Testing will measure two different outcomes; pedophilia and maturity
      • A cut-off point for maturity would need consensus but any indication of pedophilia would reject a candidate from the pool

Corporations screen applicants all the time.   We already enforce tests for many professions.  You can’t (legally) work in a kitchen until you’ve passed the health and safety test.  The school bus driver has a special license to get behind the wheel.   A clinically designed psychological test should not be seen as an infringement but as a requirement.  Is it uncomfortable to consider a doctor or a dentist inappropriately touching a child?  Absolutely.  Does anyone want to consider how many people go into child-centric professions because of their psychological flaws?  Heavens no.  But ignoring it won’t make it go away.  That’s what children think.  The first step to really protecting our children is to act like adults.

 
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Posted by on June 9, 2012 in Childhood

 

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I Can Do That*

08 Jun

Summer is almost here and soon the children will be set free.  Lockers and cubbyholes will be cleaned out and juice box stained mortarboards discarded.  Those with (state recognized) diplomas will bid a final adieu to attendance, directives issued by bells, homeroom and gym class.  They are skipping into the sun off to great adventures.

But what of those children between juice box and Starbucks?  What does the summer hold for them?  No doubt there is a population spending their summer as free-range children.  They spring forth from the house after a hearty breakfast and are not seen again until their next feeding.  They scamp, scurry, swim, and explore with other children.  There are evenings of lightening bug hunting (and teary mornings when the bugs are discovered on the bottom of the jar, decidedly dead and unilluminated.)  There are lawn sprinklers and ice cream trucks and chalked sidewalks.  Then there’s reality.  Even if there are real live children somewhere, hopefully named; Molly, Stewart, Daisy and Marvin, having this halcyon summer, most children are not.  The majority of children are simply not free-range.

Their summer days, by design, or necessity (of finance or parental mental health) are structured.  There are children who respond very positively to structure of course.  A camp that allocates hours and days to prescribed activities can be heaven for some children.  For them it is comforting to awake thinking; “It’s Tuesday it must be lanyard day.”  For other children, they flourish best in the wild.  (It’s the difference between a cultivated orchid and a wildflower.)  These children need the uncertainty of an unscheduled day to find their footing.   They can be wildly physical children who love nothing more than to whirling dervish their way into an exhausted heap of sweat and dirt at day’s end.  They can also be dreamy, quiet children, whose idea of perfection is a quiet spot and a stack of Nancy Drews.  Hopefully every child gets what he or she really does need to be happy and strong.

Somewhere between names being written in underwear, and swimming goggles being unearthed (why were they in the broken bread machine?) there is an opportunity to shake things up a bit (even if it’s in the car on the way to the mall to get that style of shorts that ‘everyone is wearing and I can’t go to camp without them or I might as well just give up any hope of ever having any friends ever in my whole life, would that make you happy?!’)  There are approximately 8 weeks in a child’s summer (I know, in our addled sentimental grown minds we think of it as sprawling, languid months, but it’s not.)  What if every child learned 8 tasks of adult life this summer?  Before the cries of “isn’t the summer reading list enough chore for my child?” let me assure you that kids think adult stuff is interesting/fun (unless we’ve been moaning and carrying on about it in their presence for years.)

There is a life skill lesson appropriate for any age.  Pre-schoolers love the chance to fold laundry or sort light from dark.  Six-to-twelve year-olds can be involved in every aspect of getting food into the house and onto the table.  If there’s a family car, the younger can learn about keeping it clean, and the older can learn about keeping it going.  Thirteen-to-eighteen year-olds can learn just about anything; how bills get paid, how insurance works, how local politics impact the family, what parents really do for a living.  This last life lesson should not be confused with ‘take a child to work day’ that in many workplaces has been turned into “work as amusement park” day.

Understanding more about how the world works and what being adult really means helps a child make informed decisions as they grow.  Learning to do something (i.e., balance a checkbook, make a potato salad, change the oil) is exactly how self-esteem is built.  Swimming medals and ‘color war’ certificates make a child happy.  But knowing you can do something that is a necessary part of being an adult makes the world more exciting and less daunting for a child.

A Chorus Line (1975) – Edward Kleban & Marvin Hamlisch

 
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Posted by on June 8, 2012 in Childhood

 

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